Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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