yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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