You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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