garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
