if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
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