Pants 0. Shit 1.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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