Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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