You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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