i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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