it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The air was thick with penises
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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