i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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