does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
