I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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