I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
