She said her name was "party"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
