Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
