Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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