Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize