There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
