singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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