they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize