4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
