I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
