I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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