We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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