Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
