Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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