THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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