Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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