Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
