Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
All the doctor said was why
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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