He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am naked and annoyed.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
