Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You've changed since you got that strap on
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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