i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
