there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
