i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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