Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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