Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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