Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
