It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
