Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
