I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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