who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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