It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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