You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize