u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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