I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
