I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
