Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
