i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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