i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
