plz talk dirty to me
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
