I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
