I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
