She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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