Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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