dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
