My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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