JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize