I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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