Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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