I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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